I just cut my nipple shaving
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
