Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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