my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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