i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my being single is dangerous.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We left an ass print on the piano.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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