He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
