ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
