toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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