Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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