Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
