You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
should my penis look like a turkey
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
