He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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