I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I miss vodka workout Fridays
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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