so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
