I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
