Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
