The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Can I color on your dick again?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
