His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
