i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
