it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
