SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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