Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
