I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
