My first STD was from a foam party
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
