I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
