Non-Jews are for practice
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
