He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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