The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
did you just send me my own nude
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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