so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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