All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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