Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
