He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize