heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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