Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
