so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
