Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize