You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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