I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
