did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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