We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
now i know why i became what i already was.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
