is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
