We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
