i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
