There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Randomize
