what day is it and did you see me today?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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