dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
