just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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