its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
