i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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