I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
