the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize