Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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