So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
