I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
