If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
