My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
