the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
