you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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