I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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