who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
