Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
