In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
