Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My life is pants optional.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
