she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
