it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
